The Tyrant Monster of Writing Land: Word Count

I know what some of you might be thinking. "The tyrant monster"? The word count is the most useful thing I've found in writing! It tells me if I'm writing not enough or writing too much, and thus if I will get published or how much I have to correct! I guess that's one way of looking at it. But to a person like me, it feels like a ball chained at my leg to keep me from going.

I'm an overwriter, meaning I write far too much beyond my limits. I wrote the first few scenes of my book recently and estimating how much the whole book will take (by comparing it to the detailed, extensive plan I've made) I calculated to end up at 300,000 words. I'm not kidding you. Three-hundred thousand words. That's two books in Lord of the Rings. That's probably half of the Harry Potter series. That's a seriously monstrous number. I have literally cried whole day because I thought of myself as a terrible writer who will never get published, and life without writing, dull old life in retail, is a life I don't want.

"But hey, it was just a rough estimation and you cried?" Yeah, first thing to remember about me is I'm a madman without a box. While you might find me rather Vulcan in self-control everyday, every once in a while I completely break up for the slightest fucking reason. I guess that's my pon farr, except for no mating going on. That one thing broke me into pieces.

Anyway, while I carried on and tried to write further thinking about that, the number is still hanging over my head menacingly. I know that if I hit anywhere close to it, I'm done (or have to find another outlet for the book - a short story series with a overarching plot? I don't know!) I know that I have to look out for it. But that's why it's my tyrant monster - it threatens me with a spiritual death if I don't follow its wishes.

It probably is a useful tool for many people. It definitely tells you the expectations and chances of getting published. That still doesn't make it good. At best, it's a necessary evil, like realising most people are in fact assholes, egoists and idiots at the same time. It's something I can't change. Doesn't mean I can't swear at it.

So yeah, take that, Tyrant Monster of Writing Land. I will find a way to topple your tower and rescue the princess (completely platonically, of course). One day, I swear, one day...